Archive for the ‘Film’ Category

LARRY CLARK vs TABBED BROWSING (feat DR DANIEL DENNET)

March 17, 2009

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I was in the middle of doing a post about this documentary on Larry Clark and I had this interview with the American Philosopher Dr Daniel Dennet in the Buffalo Beast open in another tab. Anyway, I was waiting for the YouTube page to load so I could emebed the video and I flipped over to read the interview. Apparently we’re all just meaty robots and our souls are made of protein. Holy Shit, sobering stuff. It took the wind out of my sails somewhat. Thinking about such big stuff kind of made me think Larry Clark was a bit silly really. But then I thought, “No, he’s a great photographer, who manages to capture the essence of our meaty robotness between childhood and adulthood. And compared to the really interesting article, the documentary is a bit, meh.”

Anyway, read the interview. Do a google image search on Larry Clark and buy Tulsa. And watch the documentary if you’ve got nothing better to do. There‘s quite an interesting bit about the making of Kids. Tabbed browsing may yet be the the best quality-control tool of the internet age.

A selection of images by Larry Clark

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DEATH METAL BANJO CLUSTERFUCK YEAH

March 10, 2009

FUCK ME, TWO FILMS THAT AREN’T TOTALLY SHIT (NOT NEW ONES, THOUGH)

February 17, 2009

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Most new films are shit. Particularly at this time of year with Oscars coming up, ehich means we’re forced to endure a bunch of awful films with big stars playing dead people or dying or being in a film about a book. I think I’m going to write a book about Barack Obama going back in time and dying of cancer in the holocaust. It will also feature Abraham Lincoln, Nelson Mandela, Kurt Cobain and Joan of Arc. The film adaptation will win every award ever.

Two films that aren’t shit are C.H.U.D. and Over The Edge. Some excellent people have put them on YouTube. C.H.U.D. is an good B-movie. Good B-movies are like hardcore punk: rough round the edges, intentionally trashy, but with enough energy and integrity to not male it cheesy. C.H.U.D. is like Reagan Youth. Watch it here. There’s also a bunch of stills.

If someone made a top-10 of teen movies, then Over The Edge would have to be in there. Aside from starring a very young Matt Dillon, it has a slamming soundtrack featuring Cheap Trick, The Ramones, The Cars, plus loads more good stuff. It’s also one of the films that best captures the adolescent state of mind – that mixture of vulnerability, belligerence and alienation. So there. Watch it here. Again, there’s a good selection of stills. Look out for the scene with the gun and Cheap Trick’s Surrender.


HARD BOILED: PROVES HOLLYWOOD ACTION FILMS SUCK BALLS

January 8, 2009

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Action movies are like the heavy metal of cinema: brash, loud, obvious and bit cheesy and fucking awesome. I read a Werner Herzog quote that went something like ‘I’d rather watch a good king-fu movie than Jean Luc Godard’, or something like that. It’s in this book. He also says Mad Max rules, which is a good call, too. I like that. He’s saying that action, kung-fu, horror etc is like the red meat basics of cinema.

Hollywood hasn’t done a good action movie since the ’70s. The Dark Knight was Ok, but if it were a band, it would be the Smashing Pumpkins. Oh, and The Terminator and T2 get an honourable mention. They’re Motorhead. Hong Kong on the other hand… Hong Kong is like  early Metallica, or classic Slayer. And before he went to Hollywood to churn out lame gash like Broken Arrow, John Woo was Rick Rubin.

His two best films from then are Hard Boiled and The Killer. And some generous soul has posted them on YouTube in 10 minute segments. These movies show the Hollywood action flicks up for the overblown, overproduced pieces of shit that they are. John Woo makes violence look like a ballet and the stars Chow Yun Fat and Tony Leung are way more beleivable than muscle bound dickheads like Steven Seagal and Jean-Claude Van Damme (who went on to star in Woo’s lame Hard Target).

I’ve put the first two sections of Hard Boiled up because the shootout at the tea house is a classic of Hong Kong cinema. If it were a song it would be Raining Blood (literally).

Watch Hard Boiled

Watch The Killer (Watch the second one listed – unless you can read Korean subtitles)

WHEN NEW CREATURES RAPE YOUR FACE

December 14, 2008

AM I HYPERSENSITIVE

October 11, 2008

DIESEL VIRAL: PORN VS ANIMATION BLURS NSFW/SFW BOUNDRY

September 26, 2008

Viral adverts can be irritating as crabs, but every so often one like this peach from Diesel will come along. Enjoy before you’ve seen it so many times you want punch the smart-arsed little shit who made it in the cock.

SANZA HANZA: SOUTH AFRICAN TRAIN SURFING MOVIE AND ZINE

September 25, 2008

Remember this about the South African trainsurfers? Streetcarnage have done a photozine and movie about them. Read more about it here. It looks really good, but this is really just an excuse to post more videos about people doing stupid and dangerous stuff with trains…

This doesn’t look as impressive as the South African guys, but he is going about 20 times faster. But for real idiotic melon balls…

DON’T CALL ME PRETENTIOUS… OR, GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU MIDDLEBROW DICK

September 25, 2008

Middlebrow is a beige date rapist stalking popular culture

Today‘s guest post is BY Michael Burka (not his real name, doye!). He is angry.

An anecdote. I used to work with this guy. He was a great guy. Australian. We had absolutely nothing in common except that we both worked for the same insane woman – a vengeful chubby dwarf of an ex police officer with a retarded child and a double mastectomy, who vented her rage on anyone prettier or cleverer than her (clue: almost everybody).

Anyways, me and the Australian bonded over having to suffer this bitch. We lived close to each other, too. And I would often see him on the train where he would take the piss of my reading material. He favoured trashy airport novelists: Wilbur Smith and Tom Clancy were two of his favourites. Where I was into more literary stuff: James Joyce, Donald Barthelme were two I took a lot of shit for. Long story short: we had a book swap. He gave me Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six and I lent him Ask The Dust, or something. He didn’t even start it and I got about 60 pages into R6 before I gave up. It was like trying to suck a cock: I just couldn’t do it, the whole thing was totally alien. We remained friends until he was forced to return home as punishment for impregnating his wife.

The point is: I liked artsy fartsy crap. He liked trashy stuff. I don’t really care to know why. Maybe it’s because my dad molested me and I never found out about it. So what. But some people really have problem with this. I had a conversation the other week where I happened to mention that I really couldn’t give two shits about The Dark Knight movie and that Heath Ledger was basically being given a prize for acting like a cartoon and being dead, and the rage that gurgled in her throat was vicious. She started going off about how she was sick of all this snobbery in art and that I was pretentious. It was like I’d just admitted to being a war criminal.

I shouldn’t get too bent out of shape, it was just intellectual insecurity, but has it ever occured to these people that some people actually like weird/different stuff? The online Cambridge Dictionary defines pretentious as: “trying to appear or sound more important or clever than you are, especially in matters of art and literature”. They would rather believe that someone was trying to make themselves appear cleverer than them than believe that they simply didn’t like fucking Batman. 

Pretentious is a word bandied around waaay too often. Often a simple “boring” or “I didn’t like it” would do. But it is frequently used as a way of rejecting anything radical or different. Middlebrow people hate radical ideas because deep down they are very conservative people. Conservative people dislike radical ideas, but they are usually pretty upfront and honest about it. But middlebrow people see themselves as forward thinking and would hate to be considered conservative, so they call stuff they don’t like or understand pretentious. Btw, I mean conservative in the sticking to the orthodoxy sense rather than a right wing political sense.

Radical ideas move help a culture to evolve. Middlebrow culture seeks to replace truly radical things with its own mediocre ones and make middlebrow people appear smart and clever without having to make too much of an effort (hey isn’t that what pretention is, kind of?). Take a film like Atonement – perfect middlebrow fodder. The plot – boy meets girl, has sex, is separated by injustice, goes to war, dies – could be straight out of a Mills & Boon novel without the happy ending. Except, there is one – it’s just not real, it’s the ending of the protagonist’s book. There’s some flashbacks, too. Meaning the story is non-linear. Middlebrow folk love these metaphysical flourishes because they make them feel safe in the knowledge that they are much cleverer and nothing like the aging housewives who compensate for the tragedy of their neglected vaginas with Quality Street and trashy romance novels.

Then take Mister Lonely, Harmony Korine’s strange and beautiful film about a commune of celebrity impersonators and flying nuns. It was universally panned by middlebrow critics like Peter Bradshaw and Philip French. Bradshaw missed the point totally, calling it “pointless and irritating” and “without plausibility, dramatic interest or insight into celebrity culture”. A film about impersonators living together in a remote Scottish Castle and a nuns on BMXs jumping out of planes without parachutes, implausible? No shit. (NB I called Harmony and told him his film didn’t sound very plausible and he cried). As for it not saying anything about celebrity culture: it’s about IMPERSONATORS, not the actual celebrities. Of course it doesn’t say anything about celebrity culture. As Diego Luna, who plays Michael Jackson says: “I have always wanted to be someone else. I have never felt comfortable the way I am. All I want is to be better than myself; to become less ordinary and to find some prurpose in this world.” You can imagine Bradshaw trying to get his goon mind around it: “There’s Michael Jackson talking to Marilyn Monroe… she’s dead… uuuuunnnhhhh… hang on… [thinks about getting a sandwich from Pret] isn’t that Sammy Davis Jnr? This is ridiculous!” And as for the nuns. Come on. They were awesome.

Fuck this. I can’t believe I’m getting so worked up about it. I’m sounding like I never have sex. That girl wouldn’t have sex with me after I said I dissed Heath Ledger. I stand by what I said, though. And I’m not pretentious.

MICHAEL BURKA

 

 

BROTHERS QUAY ON YOUTUBE

September 18, 2008

Anyone with a passing interest in animation knows about the Brothers Quay. And they are generally regarded as being geniuses – for want of a better word – in their field. Genius is a shit word that is used far to often, but is does take a certain amount of talent and vision to be able to combine slightly gothic, creepy European aesthetics, Kafka, modern classical music and a whole heap of other influences without coming off as totally pretentious.

I could never find any of their stuff on YouTube until now, when I stumbled across  Street Of Crocodiles, which is considered a masterpiece.

Part 1

Part 2

Check out more of their stuff here.

This DVD is also highly reccomended.