Archive for February, 2009

DAILY

February 19, 2009

DOWNLOADING PORN = POUND-LOADING DAWN

SPOON

THE CHEESEBURGER EQUATION

February 19, 2009

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I do not trust anyone who doesn’t like cheeseburgers. It’s pretty simple: if you’re too uptight to enjoy the combination of bun, burger and cheese – augmented maybe with some onions and a pickle, and a dash of ketchup – then you are a joyless, life-hating idiot. You can bet the kind of person who is too uptight to eat a food that needs to picked up and will get their hands dirty is hung up on a bunch of other crap. These are the kind of people who probably think sex is dirty and don’t like getting drunk. There are no excuses. Vegetarian? Have a veggieburger. Here does good ones. Keep Kosher? Ditto. Or just hold the cheese. Let’s not be too dogmatic here. And if you’re one of the miniscule amount of white people who’re genuinely lactose intolerant and not just neurotic, then, again, skip the cheese. Asians get a pass on this, too. But then if you’re happy to eat chicken feet and dog in your diet, it’s safe to say that you probably aren’t too uptight.

Anyway, let’s be clear: cheeseburgers rule.

Michael Burka

I NEED A HERO

February 17, 2009

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© awesomelife 2009

FUCK ME, TWO FILMS THAT AREN’T TOTALLY SHIT (NOT NEW ONES, THOUGH)

February 17, 2009

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Most new films are shit. Particularly at this time of year with Oscars coming up, ehich means we’re forced to endure a bunch of awful films with big stars playing dead people or dying or being in a film about a book. I think I’m going to write a book about Barack Obama going back in time and dying of cancer in the holocaust. It will also feature Abraham Lincoln, Nelson Mandela, Kurt Cobain and Joan of Arc. The film adaptation will win every award ever.

Two films that aren’t shit are C.H.U.D. and Over The Edge. Some excellent people have put them on YouTube. C.H.U.D. is an good B-movie. Good B-movies are like hardcore punk: rough round the edges, intentionally trashy, but with enough energy and integrity to not male it cheesy. C.H.U.D. is like Reagan Youth. Watch it here. There’s also a bunch of stills.

If someone made a top-10 of teen movies, then Over The Edge would have to be in there. Aside from starring a very young Matt Dillon, it has a slamming soundtrack featuring Cheap Trick, The Ramones, The Cars, plus loads more good stuff. It’s also one of the films that best captures the adolescent state of mind – that mixture of vulnerability, belligerence and alienation. So there. Watch it here. Again, there’s a good selection of stills. Look out for the scene with the gun and Cheap Trick’s Surrender.